November 2012

This is the time of the year that we gather as a family to celebrate another year together, thankful for our blessings of the last year, looking forward with optimism for the year to come.

What is especially significant is that at our Thanksgiving Table we have the living family tree of all of our ancestors before us and the combined personalities of those many generations past. The DNA that identifies us, our spirit, our personality is embedded in each and every family member.

The personalities of each of us are handed down from our parents, grandparents and their grandparents and form indelible marks on the construction of our character. That of course often results in a spectrum of perspectives and the differences of opinion and behaviors among us. Nowhere are those distinct character traits more evident than at family gatherings. What does hold true is that sister Sue’s annoying habits are often passed down in part from someone in her family tree. Cousin George’s charm is a character trait he inherited from his Uncle or niece, Angie’s quick temper is a reminder of Aunt Amy. They share the physical characteristics so telling and we cannot help but to identify the relative they best resemble. It is a puzzle to identify which of the seven personality types is a fit for each one.

The blend of personalities is always a recipe for family disasters and potentially conflicts, and that of course is why there are so many family horror stories around holidays. We all try to blend, we all try optimistically to “get along” despite our different personality imprints and it only works “sometime”. The important thing is that we do indeed try to overcome or put aside our prejudices and annoyances with each other for at least this one day a year and join in gratitude for our very precious existence, our underlying love for each other (despite it all) and tolerance for our differences and uniqueness celebrating the history passed down by the generations before us.

Remembering there are seven different personality types, each with their own shades of gray, each with their own extremes, and they contribute to the tapestry of our family each in their own distinct way. Tolerance and appreciation of the nuances are the threads that weave our generational quilt.

There is a poem which we found on the Poetry Foundation achieves which each in their own way express the spirit of the Thanksgiving Table. Hope you enjoy it.

Thanksgiving By Edgar Albert Guest

Gettin’ together to smile an’ rejoice,

An’ eatin’ an’ laughin’ with folks of your choice;

An’ kissin’ the girls an’ declarin’ that they

Are growin’ more beautiful day after day;

Chattin’ an’ braggin’ a bit with the men,

Buildin’ the old family circle again;

Livin’ the wholesome an’ old-fashioned cheer,

Just for awhile at the end of the year.

Greetings fly fast as we crowd through the door

And under the old roof we gather once more

Just as we did when the youngsters were small;

Mother’s a little bit grayer, that’s all.

Father’s a little bit older, but still

Ready to romp an’ to laugh with a will.

Here we are back at the table again

Tellin’ our stories as women an’ men.

Bowed are our heads for a moment in prayer;

Oh, but we’re grateful an’ glad to be there.

Home from the east land an’ home from the west,

Home with the folks that are dearest an’ best.

Out of the sham of the cities afar

We’ve come for a time to be just what we are.

Here we can talk of ourselves an’ be frank,

Forgettin’ position an’ station an’ rank.

Give me the end of the year an’ its fun

When most of the plannin’ an’ toilin’ is done;

Bring all the wanderers home to the nest,

Let me sit down with the ones I love best,

Hear the old voices still ringin’ with song,

See the old faces unblemished by wrong,

See the old table with all of its chairs

An’ I’ll put soul in my Thanksgivin’ prayers.

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173584